What A Ride

I'm back from a full blown manic episode with psychosis and all. I am thankful for having it as a lot of good came from it. I'm talking again with two of my aunts I was estranged with. I have a new found respect for medication and Psychiatrists to help treat my bipolar. I now am not afraid to become manic any more. And the stories I was playing out were out of this world! Too bad none of it was real ;) I will tell the stories soon. You'd laugh :D

I also have a deep respect for my husband. It's not easy living separate from you're manic wife, working night shift, and making all her appointments. (We are legally separated and trying to reconcile... but that's another story for another time.) He has been my rock a pillar in the storm. I certainly have a new found respect for him and wish only good for him.

Here are some things I wrote while I was manic...

"I am not a lightworker anymore. If somebody tells me my channeling is bullshit, that's OK cuz you do not need to agree. We are on our own paths to ONE. Who says my "teachings" are better than yours. It is important to take action when needed, but as important to know when to sit back and allow. I trust that the whole knows more than I do. This message is for all that hear it, it evokes the exactly right feelings in everyone... Peace, not for THEM and US. Just for US. so stop fighting about it :P Just my opinion." (in response to someones channeled message as it sparked a huge debate about war and peace.)

"When I'm "manic" (sorry I don't remember what I called it before hospitalization. oh... connected to source, no "in light" :D) I often am called an Angel and people say oh my god, there is a GOD. I guess I'm here to help heal "Christianity" although I have a new found respect for the underlying message. So maybe that not belonging feeling is for a reason. Maybe as we, humanity, begin to evolve it manifests as being a profit in our past understanding. And as we all connect to each other, the ONE, GOD, UNIVERSE whatever, we stop needing to speak to communicate. The collective consciousness is integrating. We think a question and someone else, somewhere else answers it. Have you read the book The Chrysalis. It was a children's book I read in school, of all places, in the 70's. It changed my life."

"Amen! I have been doing this for the past 21 years. Once you got diagnosed how long did take you to realize it's Chi? In my family we laughed at all Eastern Philosophy... The hippie movement was a conspiracy to stop the study of eastern anything. There's a heavy shame that comes with the word Hippie. They're the big jokes of society. Like every time they figure out something profound some say, "Wooh where did that come from? Must have been all the acid I dropped in the sixties!" Self shaming by the drugs the CIA flooded the movement with. An attempt to block the inevitable enlightenment of the masses."

"Cool topic... I have bipolar or just waking up. But I'll explain what Bipolar is. It's deep Depression and deep Psychosis the doctor tells me. But on an energy level I swing from All my chakras too closed to "Normal" where my chi is balanced somewhat to my chakras not even registering except for my third eye and crown and they are waaaaaaaaay open. Depression is blocked energy and Mania or Psychosis is too open 6th and 7th Chakras. Balance is EVERYTHING when you have Bipolar. My whole life has been a struggle to balance my chi. Just recently I went on a raw diet and simultaneously became manic. I went from everything cooked and junk to everything pure, almost overnight. I believe my chakras were acting so weird because I was dieing. Ya my soul was evolving, too fast and my body stopped trying to keep up. I'm healing now and better for the experience because now I realize I need to respect my energy, and my body keeps me alive. I need to marry my lower chakras with my upper chakras and that's what opens my heart chakra. from Greg Braden. My heart is the key to enlightenment, not my crown. When I'm depressed and feel low on energy my chakra Solar Plexus is blocked but it is because it was too open for too long and needs a rest. So I care for my basic needs and it does build gradually. Start testing your chakras at home with a pendulum and you will quickly learn which needs what. But always respect the balance."